Jurassic World – A Desecration of All That is Good

I last wrote that the previews for Jurassic World gave me hope. I had hope that this movie would generate a feeling of nostalgia, allowing me to relive perhaps the most magical time of my childhood. What it actually did was violently bludgeon my childhood with a barrage of overblown CG and godawful one-liners. To continue this full-scale attack on everything sacred, Target joined in the fun by releasing the entire raptor squad in action figure format. When I got my raptors home, however, careful inspection revealed that they had all been neutered of their RETRACTABLE CLAWS. That’s what makes a raptor a raptor, but I guess not in this brave new world. There is only one good thing to come out of this movie, and it’s the Jurassic Smash Blizzard at Dairy Queen. At least I can eat my feelings as I remember the good old days when animatronics could live in harmony with CG, and raptors were not robbed of their most notable trait.Snapshot_20150623_195610 Continue reading

My sincerest apologies…

Please excuse the lack of a full post today. On Thursday, my childhood unexpectedly died following a viewing of Jurassic World. I am taking this week to fully gather my thoughts and to attempt to move on from this tragedy. You can expect a full explanation early next week, along with my usual book review.

Dark Rooms by Lili Anolik

Dark Rooms tries to be a Gillian Flynn novel. I understand the appeal, for a while there every thriller published wanted to be Gone Girl. Amolik seems to be going for more of a Dark Places vibe, which is a far worse crime, as Dark Places is probably Flynn’s best novel. Flynn achieves gritty realism in an almost subtle way that keeps it from feeling over the top. Amolik flamboyantly creates quite the opposite, her atmosphere dense with exorbitant plot points ranging from incest to – hold onto your butts – the protagonist developing a romantic relationship with her known rapist.  Continue reading

The Bullet by Mary Louise Kelly

The entire time I was reading The Bullet, I kept thinking, “This is just too good to be true.” It almost was, but the last fifty pages or so proved my original sentiment to be correct. The concluding chapters were just not what I had expected, and not in a good way. Something about the twisty conclusion doesn’t sit right with me; perhaps because the narrator’s actions in the latter part of the novel do not exactly mesh with the type of character that she had so meticulously been established to be. Continue reading

North American Lake Monsters by Nathan Balingrud

I came across Nathan Balingrud’s North American Lake Monsters on a Bookriot list titled “5 Books That Are Legit Nightmare Fuel,” by Rachel Weber. Conveniently, I had been in desperate need of some “nightmare fuel,” so to Amazon I went. I don’t know that I would label these stories as scary in a traditional sense, but they are bothersome and thought-provoking, and some are downright troubling. I loved it. Continue reading

Pines (Wayward Pines #1) by Blake Crouch

I saw a commercial for a new show on Fox called Wayward Pines. M. Night Shymalon is the executive producer, and although his films are generally pretty hit or miss with me, his involvement here piqued my curiosity. First things first, though – the series is based on a book trilogy, so in the last week I diligently read the first novel, Pines, and watched the series premiere. Strong feelings of apathy ensued. Continue reading

My Heart and Other Black Holes by Jasmine Warga

I’m a bit concerned that the only books that I seem to even vaguely enjoy anymore tend to be Young Adult. I use “enjoy” loosely, because I certainly didn’t love My Heart and Other Black Holes, but I did like it, which I’ll take at this point. Continue reading